I was watching the season finale of "American Idol" the other night waiting for the seemingly inevitable announcement that David Archuleta would be crowned king of the show, when my TiVo almost betrayed me.
I love my TiVo, the set-top device that magically records television shows without using tapes and lets me pause live TV and skip through commercials, so I hate to talk badly about it. As far as I know, it can read my mind and might do something to me if it feels that I am talking ill about it.
To hear the "Idol" results, my wife and I sat through a Donna Summer medley and performances by the final 12 contestants that droned on even when I triple fast-forwarded them. Ryan Seacrest finally came on and said, "The winner, by 12 million votes, of 'American Idol' 2008 izzzzzzzzzz ... David ... Cook!"
Then, TiVo went "Ding!" and the show was over. No post-announcement celebration. No confetti drop or fireworks shower. No crowd reaction of elation or disappointment. Just a simple two-line message; "Delete This Recording Now," or "Don't Delete."
That was it. My wife and I, both educated, relatively mature adults in our later 30s, stared at each other, knowing that all of the hours we put into this season had ended with a TiVo ding just seconds after we were surprised by Cook's victory. A day later, as I wrote that previous sentence, I stared at the computer screen, shocked that I cared that much about a singing contest.
The good news is that TiVo didn't let us down. It (he?) gave us the result then told us to move on. We didn't need to sit there and evaluate the results. What were we, 14? We hadn't voted once for any of the contestants, so we could see who won and go watch the 10 o'clock news, like older, working people should do.
TiVo was right, like a good, unemotional machine should be.
Yes, I am like a techno-nerd, singing the praises of the gadget, but it has changed my television viewing habits.
TiVo was frustrating at first, as it was set to record programs that it assumed I wanted to watch. These suggestions became irritations to me.
"Why would you think I'd want to watch 'Walker, Texas Ranger' Mr. TiVo? I'd like to suggest that you don't know me at all.
Eventually, as with all electronic products that I own, I turned to my teenage son to have him fix the settings so only I - not the magic machine - could decide what is recorded. He's an icon, but there will be no Chuck Norris programs for me.
I like the occasional network sitcom sprinkled with a healthy dose of reality television and the occasional movie. Squabbling couples racing around the world on "The Amazing Race"; squabbling strangers eating weird, raw sea creatures on "Survivor"; squabbling co-workers playing pranks on one another in "The Office."
These are the joys that TiVo brings me. And because these shows are recorded, I get to watch them when I want, which still allows me to spend time outside with my children. TiVo would prefer that I spend all my time on my couch, watching programs that he believes I would enjoy.
But you don't own me, buddy. It's the other way around. I could quit using your magic recording powers any time I want to. I can sit through commercials and watch shows when they originally air, without the ability to pause them when I need to go get something to eat or answer the phone ...Wow, that sounds like a horrible existence.
Rewind and delete that last sentiment. TiVo, you stay right where you are, nice and comfortable on top of the TV. What do you recommend we watch?
Adam Breen Adam Breen is a staff writer with the Weekend Pinnacle.
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