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    LIFESTYLES > FEATURES


    B.Y.O.B. - (Buy Your Own Bling)
    Apr 10, 2008
     By Courtesy of McClatchy

    Jessica Yadegaran - Contra Costa Times



    In Lindsay Firth's family, jewelry is a symbol of connection. On her left hand, she wears her grandmother's garnet ring, passed down to Firth on her quincea'era.

    The 30-year-old Oakland resident cherishes her diamond ring in much the same way. The half-carat marquise diamond is set horizontally on a yellow gold band. Firth designed it with a friend, and she wears it on the middle finger of her right hand. It, too, has meaning.

    "It's an acknowledgment to myself that I don't need someone to buy something like this for me," she said. "I can take care of myself, and I'm good at it."

    Mara Johnson, who helped Firth design it, concurred.

    "I just love diamonds, and I don't think men should have anything to do with them at all," said Johnson, who works at Pave Fine Jewelry in Oakland.

    Last year, 4.5 million diamond right-hand rings were sold in the United States, a 10 percent increase, according to the Diamond Information Center. While many attribute the spike in popularity to an advertising campaign launched in 2003 linking the gem with independence, many women say they have been designing and purchasing their own diamond rings longer, and for reasons more diverse than the latest consumer trend.

    Firth bought hers five years ago, for the price of a mid-range sofa. She had come off a difficult breakup and a series of health problems. Meanwhile, she was part of a group of friends that happened to be focused on getting married. In their minds, she explained, securing a diamond ring was linked to matrimony.

    "It made me sad," said Firth, who holds a master's degree and works in management for a San Francisco digital media company. "Those things (buying a ring) I can take care of myself. It's not a reason to get married."

    Shannon Barbour of Walnut Creek related to the DeBeers ads that encourage successful,

    independent "women of the world to raise their right hands and make their own statements."

    She bought her right-hand ring - white gold with three flush diamonds - two years ago at a jewelry show in Milan for about $700. Barbour, 38, admitted that she was a bit inspired by a "Sex and the City" episode in which Carrie Bradshaw, the main character, touted the trend.

    "I'm at that age where I'm not getting married anytime soon. So I figured, 'Why not?,'" Barbour said.

    But married women purchase right-hand rings as well, said Helena Krodel, spokeswoman for the Jewelry Information Center, a nonprofit trade association.

    Firth's mother fell in love with her daughter's right-hand ring. So, for her 30th wedding anniversary, she designed one for herself.

    "They get to design something fabulous with their own sense of style, so it's not going to look traditional," Krodel said.

    Krodel calls the right-hand rings timeless fashion items. And depending on quality and craftsmanship, they can cost less than a designer handbag. The average diamond right-hand ring sold in 2006 cost $1,153, according to the Diamond Information Center. But you can find them for less than $500, Krodel said.

    "We're not saying spend two months' salary," she said. "We're saying, 'Buy whatever you want. Make yourself happy.' It's not about the price, it's more about the meaning."

    Meaning is what concerns Denise Witzig, professor and coordinator of the women's studies program at St. Mary's College in Moraga.

    "Raise your right hand?" she asked. "You're testifying to your independence. To supporting yourself. To the fact that you've made it. It's just the opposite of what a wedding ring signifies - marriage and commitment."

    Witzig is glad to see strong images of women in advertising and is pleased women are not waiting to be gifted. But she is cynical about the consumer-oriented context, she said, and the expansion of the luxury market, where her students wear multi-carat rings and 12-year-olds carry Coach handbags.

    It is a sentiment understood by Staci Nicole Lyons of Hayward, who works in fine jewelry for a major department store.

    "You can have your ring, but I think it's sad that there's a campaign telling women they need material things to satisfy them," she said. Last month, a client of Lyons' dropped thousands on a right-hand ring.

    "She broke up with her boyfriend and said she needed to buy herself something expensive to make herself feel better," Lyons said.

    This is not exactly political progress, said Witzig, who teaches a course called Bachelor Girl about the evolution of the single woman.

    "Success is not necessarily about being a CEO, driving a hot car and buying yourself a diamond ring," she said.

    It is likely that Kara Barker of San Francisco can buy herself anything she wants.

    The 34-year-old homeowner is vice president of a multi-billion dollar security company. She owns solitaire diamond earrings, and her Chanel necklace glitters with diamonds. But she would never buy a diamond ring and wear it on her right hand. It is too symbolic, she says.

    "Why would you want to wear something that you'd someday wear as an engagement ring?," she asked. "Chances are, I would pick out exactly what I wanted, and I think it would discourage a man down the road who was trying to buy me a ring. Of all pieces, that should be the one you wait for."

    Lauren Edwards of San Leandro spent 10 weeks designing her ring. She never had a wedding ring during her 20-year marriage. Now, divorced at 46, she understands the importance of "self care."

    "I wanted to make a beautiful gesture toward myself and create something that I could one day bequeath to a young woman who had come to be very close to me," she said.

    The ring is made of white gold. In the middle sits a yellow sapphire, and on each side is a small diamond. The inscription reads "create," and Edwards wears it on the ring finger of her left hand.

    "They say the left side of the body represents creativity," she said.

    Witzig, the professor, recalled a friend in graduate school who used to celebrate successful presentations and other milestones in her career by buying herself a nice piece of jewelry.

    "That was a really great idea," Witzig says. "She was taking that old tradition of jewelry being commemorative and recreating it to represent the successful achievements of her time. Women have been doing that for a long time."


    Courtesy of McClatchy
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